I want to be a #softgirl girl living a #softlife

Grunge music, plaid flannel, and Doc Martens might be the first things that come to mind when you think about the 1990s. But zoom out and you'll see a somewhat different picture emerge. Baby butterfly hair clips (that break in two minutes but look so cute until they do). Pastel floral prints (some very groovy and reminiscent of the 1970s - all trends come back around, baby). Platform shoes. Heart-eye sunnies. When we weren't schlepping around in Birks with socks, we were wearing pink Converse All-Stars.

Fast-forward to the late 2010s and early 2020s and, like I just said, all trends come back around - because all those 90s fashions are back, and even bigger and more over-the-top than they were back in the day. Nude lipstick - have you seen M.A.C's just-released nude lippy redux, with 20 shades last seen on the cast of Friends? Oversized hoodies - hello, Oodie and all its imitators! Soft toys and stuffed animals - I know people whose entire mattress consists of 65 Squishmallows.

This time, we're calling it "soft girl aesthetic", and honestly, with the world on fire and despots in charge, I'm here for it. We all deserve a bit of softness in our lives.

Soft girl aesthetic, nowadays, looks like hyper-feminine, doll-like makeup (long faux eyelashes, pinky cheeks, even a few fake freckles). It's pleated skirts a la Clueless, as well as oversized gingham baby-doll dresses. Pastels everywhere, and hearts and flowers and clouds printed on everything, from notebooks to duvet covers. Curly hair, space buns but make 'em messy, and beribboned braids. The butterfly clips are back and they still break in two minutes but look cute until they do. And scrunchies. So many scrunchies!

Being a soft girl extends to activities and hobbies, too - it's not just a look, it's a "soft life". Baking bread and pastries while listening to music. Drawing, sketching, coloring. Watching anime and nostalgic cartoons that have had a makeover (My Little Pony, Barbie) and some that are better in their original format (The PowerPuff Girls). Lake swimming. Picnics under trees. Picking wildflowers (or picking out fresh flowers at the farmers' market).

"The soft girl aesthetic is about exploring a traditionally feminine side of your character in a safe, happy space. But, all importantly, this femininity does not rule out your intelligence or resilience," says Fiona Embleton, writing in Vogue India. "It's also about getting in touch with a softer, gentler side of life as a coping mechanism when times get tough – which, given the turbulence of the last few years, means the soft girl trend is seemingly here to stay."

Why is the soft girl trend so popular? It's a celebration of the (traditionally) feminine, sweet, slow living, time-taking lifestyle. No, we're not going back to Little House on the Prairie, but would it be so bad if we check out from tech and spend the weekend rereading Anne of Green Gables?

Writing for the BBC about the soft girl trend among Nigerian influencers - where "soft life" originated, by the way, before it went global - Evie Muir says, "In a context where Nigeria is experiencing its own cost of living crisis, a soft life was never about the flamboyant expressions of materialism or wealth that we'd normally associate with a life of leisure. It doesn't mean expensive spa days or luxury travel. Rather, it asks us to don our most comfortable outfit and consider what a day-to-day life of ease would look like for ourselves. Then, it challenges us to put this into practice."

Soft girl isn't just about dressing cute, doing gentle activities, and hugging a stuffed toy while listening to Taylor Swift. It's about self-care, spending time with yourself doing what resonates, and putting yourself and your needs first. It's about creativity and getting back to nature. While social media #softlife influencers might show off private jet trips and fine dining, for the average person, living a soft life is more about authenticity and resonance.

"Soft life means pouring into myself," says content creator Jaz Turner in an article for HerMoney. "And then giving to other people and to my work from my overflow. I don't ever do anything I don't want to do."

Maybe that's what #softgirl #softlife is, at its core - identifying what's important to you, then taking steps to align your lifestyle with your values. And that sounds like a bit of me. I'm done with the hustle, done with trying to impress, done with sacrificing self-care for work. I want to be a soft girl. Want to join me? I'll be in my pajamas, watching the BBC's Pride and Prejudice (still the best one), drinking hot chocolate.