When is it too soon to say "babe"?

There you are, vibing with someone new. The messages are flirty, the connection is spicy, and then it happens. “Good morning, babe 😘” (Complete with kissyface emoji, even!) Is it adorable? Intimate? Slightly suffocating? Is that the ick I'm feeling, or am I kind of flattered?

Pet names live in a gloriously grey area, where one person’s heart-melter is another person’s "Ew, stop." So when is it too soon to roll out a nickname, and why do some of us love it while others feel like hiding under the nearest duvet? And why do some people run right to the pet names and seem to, well, forget your actual name exists?

Pet names can fast-track intimacy

Terms like “babe,” “honey,” “boo,” or “sweetie” can feel warm and affectionate, especially in casual dating, where the lines between flirting and feelings can blur. But they also carry a kind of emotional weight. They suggest closeness, familiarity, even a little bit of territory. And when they show up early on (like, before you’ve even met IRL), they can make the dynamic feel a little unbalanced.

Sometimes it’s a genuine sign of emotional availability. Sometimes it’s a placeholder for deeper connection. Sometimes it’s just someone’s go-to flirting style. And sometimes, let’s be honest, it’s a red flag disguised as a heart-eyes emoji.

When it might be a red flag

The red-flagness of it all can mean that the person you're interacting with is also interacting with a number of others, and using "babe" or "hun" (and OMG I hate "hun" with a red-eyed passion) because that way, they don't have to keep track of the names of everyone they're messaging. It could also mean they're lazy as F and can't be bothered remembering your name to begin with, as you may just be another person on their conveyor belt of hookups.

So how to deal with this potential situation? You can simply assert a boundary like "Hey, my name's Julie - I'm not into nicknames!" and see what happens. If you get pushback, consider why they're not willing to make this simple change to the parameters of your conversation. Are they being a jerk? If they won't stop calling you "bae" when you ask them, what else will they overlook or decide they don't want to respect?

So when is it too soon?

There’s no set timeline. What matters most is how it lands. Does it feel fun and flirty? Or weirdly intimate for someone you’ve only just exchanged Spotify playlists with? “Too soon” isn’t measured in dates or days, it’s about whether the level of closeness matches the language. If a pet name feels earned, it’ll probably make you smile. If it feels like it’s leaping over some emotional steps, you’re allowed to cringe a little.

Feeling weird? Say something.

If you’re not into it, you don’t have to ghost or grin and bear it. A light, playful “Babe? Bold move!” can set the tone and create space for a more honest chat. You can even use it to steer the conversation toward what does feel good, whether that’s using names, nicknames that come from shared jokes, or holding off altogether.

The best pet names often emerge naturally. They grow out of inside jokes, funny mispronunciations, or that one time you spilled ramen on yourself and got dubbed “Noodle.” The more organic it feels, the more likely it is to stick in a good way.

You don’t owe anyone a “babe” back. And you don’t have to love it just because it sounds romantic. The best relationships – casual or committed – are built on mutual pace and genuine connection. Let the nicknames come when they come. Or not!