When you're lonely at Christmas (and everyone else is coupled up)

There's a quiet, brilliant joy in being sans-relationship for Christmas. You can do what you want when you want and not worry about anyone else. Except... When you turn up for your family's festive dinner and your Santa-dressed loud uncle chortles, "So, when are you going to bring someone ho-ho-home for Christmas?"

And then you look around the room and see all your cousins and siblings sitting there with husbands and wives and boyfriends and girlfriends and even your loud uncle is there with his third wife. And suddenly, you feel... Alone.

Why do all Christmas movies seem to revolve around people coupling up? Why are there no films where someone is perfectly, happily single and enjoying the holidays without a significant other? Can we not just eat leftover pizza in front of Friends reruns and sleep in on Christmas morning?

It's hard being lonely at Christmas, when everything around you seems to be geared toward couples. It can be quite isolating when the holidays are portrayed as a time for love, connection, and togetherness, with TV commercials telling you what "the perfect gift for him/her" is. This can amplify your feelings of solitude - which are already tough to deal with when it's not the festive season.

Loneliness during the holidays doesn’t just stem from being single - it’s often tied to societal expectations and the pressure to conform to a "perfect" holiday narrative. And loneliness can lead to feelings of low self-worth, sadness, and even anxiety, particularly when compounded by the festive atmosphere that seems to demand joy and connection.

Rather than focusing on what’s missing, think about using this time to strengthen other types of relationships. Friendships, family bonds, and even connections with colleagues can be a meaningful source of support. Maybe, instead of going to your family holiday celebration, you might consider hosting or attending a "Friendsmas" - the Christmas version of "Friendsgiving" - and inviting other single friends.

Or push out of your comfort zone and volunteer to serve Christmas dinner at a local soup kitchen, sign up for a Christmas morning fun run you can take part in, or even see if you can spend the day at an animal shelter helping to look after the animals who are also lonely over the holidays. These activities can help you feel a sense of purpose and connection, and remind you you're part of something bigger.

And honestly, embracing solitude can be empowering. Use this time to focus on personal growth, hobbies, or self-care. Sleep in. Eat pizza in front of the TV while watching Friends reruns. Give yourself a little solo treat - a spa day, a solo road trip, even just checking out of life with a good book and no interruptions. Have a staycation that's focused on you. This shift in focus can help you redefine the holiday as a time for self-love rather than longing.

Being alone at Christmas can be tough, but it doesn't have to define your holiday experience. There's nothing wrong with you, and you're no less worthy because you don't have a partner. Nurture your own wellbeing and look after yourself on your own terms. And have that box of holiday chocolates all to yourself for a change - you don't have to share it with anyone!